As you may have read in my post “5 Reasons I Want an Only Child“, I want an only child. My husband and I have a very clear and determined idea of the lifestyle we want, as well as the lifestyle we want for our son. (You can read more about our decision in that post.)
After a week and a half of waiting for the inevitable cycle of the month, I started getting odd symptoms. I was nauseous around 2 p.m. everyday (just after my 2nd cup of coffee), which is exactly how I felt when I realized I was pregnant with Binky baby. I was also emotional to the point of Broadway dramatics, on the verge of the Niagara falls spewing out of my face at any moment. For any woman who has experienced pregnancy, these are tell-tale signs that you’re going to be an absolute mess for the next 9 months. (Is it just me or do women who love pregnancy seem to be mystical creatures that only ever exist in books and movies?) My husband and I were both convinced that I was pregnant, so he went on a CVS run. While my husband was picking up a pregnancy test, I was laying in bed with my son, thinking about the changes that would come with another child…changes that we just didn’t feel were right for our family.
While the pregnancy test was negative, I felt like the experience gave us a sincere affirmation about our desires and confirmation that we’re making the right decision. …for us. With all of the pressure to have a second child, it was a great experience to face our own emotions in that situation. We are assured that we want an only child.
I know how blessed I am for my fertility and for the fact that I would even question becoming pregnant with an IUD. I know women out there are suffering through infertility and the void of not having their own sweet baby bundle inside of them. In a way, I hope the lack of a growing babe in my tummy can somehow mean that another mama gets to experience it instead.
For our family, we are celebrating a negative pregnancy test so that we can continue growing in the ways that we planned and hoped.