I had a conversation with one of my best friends yesterday – we’re not enjoying this holiday season. In fact, if we were to gather our small, close-knit group of friends and take a poll, I would dare to say that 90% of us are not enjoying this holiday season. Throughout our conversation, we hashed out the many burdens we’re carrying this year, from minor inconveniences to severe heartaches. There have been car break-ins and car breakdowns, money struggles, gifting stress, missing those no longer with us, getting minimal time with those still with us, I could go on and on…and we did go on and on.
In my head, I urged myself to keep my loved ones in mind and to do whatever I could to fill them up during this holiday season…even if I felt empty. At the end of the text exchange, I said, word for word, “Yeah, it’s too much negative emotions. I think the best any of us can do is to use that to try to make others happy.”
You know what I should have said? “This holiday season fucking sucks for us. You’re not alone and it’s almost over. The cold air is stifling instead of refreshing, the memories are haunting instead of nostalgic, and the tasks weigh heavily on us instead of uplifting us with excitement. We’re going to celebrate possibly nearly 100 holiday seasons in our lifetime, it’s ok if a handful of them suck…and it’s ok for us to voice it.”
So here is my unsavory confession, this year’s holiday season fucking sucks for me. I imagine there have been holiday seasons in the past that sucked for me, and I know there will be holiday seasons in the future that suck for me. I’ll take a wild guess and say that you’ve had a holiday season that sucked (and will), maybe you’re experiencing it with me this year. We don’t have to take down our Christmas lights, there’s no need for a full-on Grinch-style breakdown complete with burning presents or switching mail, simply voicing it can be enough.